A few weeks ago, I was looking a lot at the stuff some of the people that like my posts post online. I am surprised and delighted to find and be found by people that approach writing in a similar way that I do. And in fact, it reminded me of someone from my past who years ago when I met him told me he wanted to write. Now I actually don’t know any of his writing, but I do remember he was pretty open about it, open about his idea or dream. And seeing so many people online putting some kind of dream out there, I decided just bluntly ask (covered in a whole lot ‘I hope you don’t think I’m crazy and remember me and since I’m writing a lot and since I see of people that write) “what happened to that dream?”. His answer, however interesting is not the most important for today. I want to ask the question, to myself, and to you, my younger self, my older self. Myself that writes a lot of lists of things I want to do. It is interesting to talk to people you know from a previous season. A previous step in time. They remind you of the things you were busy with then. And that you’re often not busy with them now.
It is not a sin to go a different direction, nor is it a sin to evolve or change. But it sure is a pity to forget, and it’s good to remember, to cherish a dream you once had. The thing is, often previous dreams or ideas feel kind of painful because something or someone in our lives pushed it one way or another. Our idea to study art. Or should I say, my idea to study art fulltime and to relish in the possibilities of creating a world of my own, crushed by the admission panel that did not let us- Erhm, me, in. And the fact is, something else came from that crushed dream- I ended up at a university and at a specialization I love. But funnily enough first the idea, the planning, the dream was to only study art history for 1 year, to prepare myself with knowledge about art for the next admission procedure. The password I created for my university account, still reminds me of that. I chose something that would remind me why I was there, though the truth is now I barely remember what I wanted before or how badly hurt I was when others decided I could not have that.
What happened to that dream? The dream was almost forgotten, but the story continued. In fact, this dream, although not being lived to the full inspired a new story, a new life. I don’t mind my dreams, I love them, I also don’t mind they disappear and change, but I do want to remember them. I often make lists of ‘what I want’, or elaborately think about some idea or plan which results in a mental note that I can later return to. I value this very much because dreams tell me something of who I am, and that person however grown and developed, is not completely changed. Dreams of the past do one way or another have a significant role to play in the future, even if it is just to remind of what we have become, and that we can dream for something else. Always.