I used to make lists-

What I want- I would write

on top. and then anything like

learn a certain skill, buy

something I’d seen, something

I admired. I think ‘a boyfriend’

even at some point got onto there

List of things little moments to

sit and dream. Smal things,

but also bigger things. Get a

degree or something like that.


Thinking of the lists I’m sitting

no again here and think that

perhaps it was never really about

the big things. Never really put

too much on lists like marry by

21 or kids by 23, missed both

by any means. And yet. It’s

funny right. These lists- for me,

these lists were never a kind of

‘five-year plan’ sure, I scratched

a ton of these things off, but I

haven’t been keeping track.

they were never plans. just a step

back to see at that point in time

what kind of strange funny and

spontaneous desires had find

themselves into my heart.


Perhaps, now I once again am

on some kind of crossroad-

I should try to look back on

what I wanted back then, because

I can already feel the freedom

play some gentle music in the

background. Music that underscores

the beautiful process of making

small dreams coming true.


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