In the train.

In the train, I thought of all the times

I sat there before, going back and forth

Waiting for the train to leave

learning so much being so busy with

being competent yet never too much,

being noticeable, but not too eager,

being hardworking and at the same

time being no work at all,

and it is perhaps the internship-

trap that most girls fall in and

yet it reminds me of other times

and other things. It doesn’t always

matter to know what you want,

and to be small enough not to be

a burden, sometimes, you simply

can’t have what you particularly

crave for.

 

It doesn’t mean there aren’t

The peace of other people going somewhere

great things that come unexpectantly,

It’s just that you can know and

say what you want, and others can

say no. And that sometimes hurts

and sucks, and can feel so heavy

and yet- not just suffering is part

of life, freedom is too. The freedom

to dream– of great things, joyfully-

even when you won’t see them real

anytime soon.

 

In the train, I think of how far I’ve

lines, boats, clouds and trains nearby

come since that first train ride

with my sister the exquisite idea

that in one afternoon you could

go to another city and back,

it taught me that perhaps, anything

is possible. Even though we’re

physically stuck in time, our bodies

and minds can travel all dimensions.

 

It goes so fast- New year

So apparently, today is the last day of winter and the beginning of spring is also the beginning of the Persian New year- these are the things that you learn when you are on the Mezrab Mailing list. It’s funny though because in fact, I thought that perhaps the writer of the email had messed up. The thing is I can’t believe that we already more than 2,5 months into the new year. I feel like I just started. Sure, 1001 things happened since the start of the new year, but it was such a good start that it feels like it is just a little while ago. The fact that I lost track of time was also awkwardly made clear when I was home for my dad’s birthday, and the whole looks all different- turns out that it has been that way since after Christmas, the last time that I was there. It was not as if I hadn’t seen or spoke to my parents in that long but still. The time goes so fast.

And yet,  the sun that is fighting the last cold of winter and announces the start of spring makes me feel like the new year. Same as the beautiful new things that are being born and the babies I know that are slowly growing. There are good things, beautiful things, new things coming. And as you do in new years you also celebrate the old. One of my greatest loves in life are little lambs. We had many of them. Now for a change, the photo that you see is not taken by me. But this was one of my little lambs.

The best picture.